by Emily T.
Sometimes there are just no words.
For families talking with children about death and grieving, the words we want can be especially hard to find. But we are not alone. Heartfelt picture books are one of my favorite sources of solace. In aiming to speak clearly to children, the best ones are both simple and profound. They can help us open doors to deeply meaningful conversations. When we invite a child to read these stories together, we offer a special comfort.
Fred Rogers described it this way:
“Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.”
Maybe a child is grieving the death of a pet, friend, or family member. Maybe they are struggling to understand the tragedy of the current pandemic. Even if death is not on the doorstep right now, the following books can help a child understand what death means, the emotions that can come with it, and how they can process it all with someone they trust.
Read through these books before inviting your child to share them. See how they suit you and if they are appropriate for your child’s age and experience. Don’t be afraid to change up the stories to personalize them to your child’s circumstances. Or, simply look through the pictures while your child tells a story or talks about their own experience. Sometimes a child just needs someone to listen.
Simple, direct language tells this story for the littlest ones. Notes to parents and caregivers are included to help guide the reading. (Ages 2-4)
The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld
A tumbled tower of blocks represents loss in this sweet story of a grieving child searching for comfort. (Ages 3+)
The Goodbye Book by Todd Parr
A grieving goldfish demonstrates the various physical and emotional ways we might process the death of someone special to us. (Ages 3+)
One Wave at a Time: A Story About Grief and Healing by Holly Thompson
Poignant and beautiful, a young boy describes the waves of many different feelings he experiences after his father dies. (Ages 4+)
Grandpa’s Stories by Joseph Coelho
When her beloved grandfather dies, a young girl’s cherished memories of all their seasons together help her grieve and honor their forever bond. (Ages 4+)
A Map Into the World by Kao Kalia Yang
When a child wishes to comfort a grieving neighbor, her own grieving process comes to include creative and supportive expressions of condolences and connection. (Ages 5+)
All Around Us by Xelena González
A young girl and her grandfather honor the many circles of life they see, placing birth and death in a bigger picture of nature’s cycles and family traditions. (Ages 5+)
The Tenth Good Thing About Barney by Judith Viorst
Through a backyard funeral ceremony for his cat, a young boy finds comfort in memories and the circle of life. Questions of the afterlife are raised and left open. (Ages 5+)
Cry, Heart, But Never Break by Glenn Ringtved
Death itself takes the personified form of a compassionate cloaked visitor in this gentle story of four siblings coming to terms with their grandmother’s imminent death. (Ages 5+)
For further support for your child, please be sure to reach out to your child’s physician, school, religious or spiritual community, or a mental health professional.
Emily is a Children’s Instructor and Research Specialist at HCLS Elkridge Branch. She enjoys reading, knitting, and sunshine on her shoulders.