The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins

A bright green clor has an explosion of yellow dots, like someone threw confetti at the center of the book.

by Carmen J.

Days before the new year had me ruminating about resolutions and the things I want to accomplish in 2025. Work out more? Eat better? Stop procrastinating about my dreams? Sound familiar? Have you made similar intentions and broke them, and kept them, only to break them again?

This year, I turned to “my friend Mel” – as she regularly coins herself to her millions of followers of The Mel Robbins Podcast and her readers of best-selling titles such as The 5 Second Rule and The High 5 Habit.  I am savoring her latest work, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Saving Tool That Millions of People Can’t Stop Talking About. It’s the book I never knew I needed.

Simply put, the theory puts into sharp perspective how we can’t control others, including their thoughts, emotions, and opinions about us. Similarly, we can’t control when things don’t necessarily go our way. For example: If someone decides they don’t like you or an opinion you have or the way you live your life: Let Them. Often times, there will be nothing you could say or do to change those thoughts, emotions, and opinions. Consequently, what we can control is the next step: Let Me. The Let Me is our reaction, the thing we can control. Sometimes the reaction is no response, or it’s setting boundaries, or having difficult conversations that need to be had. Robbins shares more in-depth strategies and experiences from her own life and from her followers.

If you are one who has people pleased and sucked it up, all in the gallant hope of keeping the peace, Robbins’s book will be a walk through mud: uncomfortable and messy, yet survivable and relatable nonetheless. It’s part of the human condition to wonder and think about the opinions of others and try to check all of the boxes in accordance. What if we vow this year in the face of uncertain times or certainly hard times and with the utmost certainty to let the chips, opinions, and emotions happen. Let Them wash over you without fury but with fearlessness. And Let Me (and Us) make the focused choice not to change course and be OK with any mild discomfort. Let Them, Let Me, Let Us be better for it.

The Let Them Theory: A Life-Saving Tool That Millions of People Can’t Stop Talking About by Mel Robbins is available in print and e-book.

Carmen J. is a teen instructor at HCLS East Columbia Branch. Among her favorite things are great books, all things 80s, shamelessly watching The Bachelor, gardening, and drinking anything that tastes like coffee.

Setting New Year’s Goals

Red ekg heartbeat line includes a heart

by Brandon B.

Are you ready to make 2024 your best year? The new year can bring a level of optimism, excitement, and stress to some. Setting unrealistic New Year’s resolutions can be exhausting, so keep your expectations realistic. No matter if you are looking to improve your mental, spiritual, and physical health, you can visit us in person or online. To accomplish your goals for 2024, you have to adopt a clear mindset, so you can achieve the right philosophies and produce the right results.

Disruptive Thinking by Bishop T.D. Jakes offers guidance in having a strategy, spiritual guidance, and plan for the new year. If you are interested in improving your leadership and interpersonal skills, consider author John C. Maxwell to help you improve these talents.

Are you ready to burn off a few extra holiday pounds from all of those delicious meals and desserts? You can find great suggestions in our health collection, which focuses on fitness, nutrition, and many forms of exercise such as weight lifting, cycling, walking, and running. The late great Suzanne Somers’ books and videos may inspire you to get your body into great shape. Nutrition plays a major role in weight loss and management. Author Dr. Ian Smith focuses on nutrition and meal plans, and offers advice for an individual to burn fat and make lifestyle changes.

Brandon is a Customer Service Specialist at HCLS Central Branch who loves reading, football, and taking nice long walks around his neighborhood.

New Year’s Resolutions, The Empire Strikes Back, and The Great Gatsby 

A close up shot of Yoda with his eye closed and one hand out in front of him, all in greens and blues.

By Eric L.

Well, it’s the new year!

The last two years have been a bit of a…(Fill in the blank with whatever you’d like here). Personally, I’ve spent the last two weeks at home since my spouse and kids have all had very mild cases of COVID, thankfully! That said, I like a new beginning, and I’ve always liked the idea of a new year as a new start, even if the calendar year is all a human construct. Over the years around this time, I’ve read the articles about new year’s resolutions. Normally the crux of these pieces is how and why they fail, recipes for how to set “achievable” goals, and the like. Frankly, I find all these articles pessimistic. I won’t allow anyone to convince me it’s not a constructive endeavor to try to improve something about one’s life. Moreover, I’m certainly going to dismiss the platitudes espoused in certain George Lucas films about “do, or do not, there is no try.” (It is good film by the way, and you can borrow it from us. Although I’d argue that the best scenes involve the raw guttural noises and acting of Peter Mayhew as Chewbacca.).

At any rate, trying is really important in my opinion! For example, let’s say you want to exercise more and get in great “shape” (a common new year’s resolution). I think if you start walking around your neighborhood, and don’t end up on the cover of some fitness magazine, that’s an improvement over sitting on your couch streaming the latest TV series for hours, and you’re exercising. A secondary benefit is that you might meet some of your neighbors. It could happen.

Here’s my list of things I’d like to do in 2022:

  • Get back to the gym (it’s been a tough two years for that).
  • Make the time to visit some out-of-state friends.
  • Hike more than my usual trails.
  • Ride my bike more (I feel as though I slacked this year).
  • Drink less wine (we’ll see).
  • Be calmer.
  • Judge less.
  • Read more, and diversify my title selections more.

Some of these are goals that come up year after year. Perhaps I won’t achieve these things, but I’m not about to hear that there is “no try.”

The future and the New Year bring to mind the combination of optimism and pessimism expressed by Nick, the narrator of The Great Gatsby, at the very end. F. Scott Fitzgerald’s writing of conflicted feelings of pity for and admiration of Jay Gatsby’s optimism is poetic, in my opinion:

“Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgiastic future that recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that’s no matter-tomorrow we will run faster, stretch our arms out further…and one fine morning-” (180).

And although the book ends disastrously, The Great Gatsby‘s commentary on the American dream has always resonated with me. I think it’s the complicated nature of the belief that anything is possible, and America in general. So maybe if you’ve not read The Great Gatsby, or it’s been a bit, try it out, it’s great.

There have been many, but the fairly recent film adaptations are also great. I’m a fan of both the Robert Redford 1974 and the 2013 Leonardo DiCaprio adaptations. The latter we own, the former you can request via Interlibrary Loan.

If you’ve read it, or you’re just not into Gatsby, we have some other recommended titles for you this month. Also, please consider the HCLS Winter Reading Challenge, now through February 28 – pick your own books or use our challenges to inspire your Winter Reading!

Lastly, come see us in the branches and speak with us about the books we like in January.

Happy New Year!

Eric is a DIY Instructor and Research Specialist at the Elkridge branch. He enjoys reading, films, music, doing nearly anything outside, and people.